The heart is the body's strongest muscle.

Well, trying to hold on to the promise of 'a picture a day and not less than that' here. This is a rough sketch from my sketchbook I made while watching the film "Life Before Her Eyes", [ all about how seriously ephemeral our existence is]. But the drawing is not about that. Since I'm all over the great Gothic Revival and Poe these days, the sketch portraits the sexy barber.

I know it's gunna go at some point, but I can't get myself out of this depressive state right now. there's nothing I feel attached to or looking for or forward to in my mind. I'd love to illustrate and only but I realize I won't be able to illustrate everything I've got in my head. I even cry while watching comedies. freaking mood swings, I don't even know what to think about.

I could not fall asleep last night no matter what I tried to do with myself ( like sketching, counting dragons, taking pills, building a noise-protective fortress castle out of my pillows over my head), but on the other hand I nearly managed to figure out the final story line for the music video I had got myself into making of. The pin-through idea is : objects and subjects disappearing and reappearing and transforming into different things -where the love goes, I think that's what they're singing about there.

I used to feel incredibly worried about this job and actually got stuck, had a few days of depressive obsessions and monomaniac ideas but finally settling down with the concepts now and think it's going to be a good practice in illustration and animation for me and they gave me a complete freedom of choice in anything I'm going to do as well.

I feel like drawing for some storyboards, but I'm ridiculously tired from all the things that took place this weekend and will see how long I'm going to last till I crash out.

In other, non drawing related news,- today I received one of the most surprisingly wicked compliments I've ever heard- I sat down by Jamie in the canteen and there was a 'fabulous' mag or something like that kind of periodical on the table and I looked through it saying I was looking for some pictures of beautiful people to draw and Jamie said I should take a mirror and draw. 

And, hooray, my orchard drawing board in A2 arrived today in the morning and I'm over the moon about that, and there's also no excuses possible to not to draw every other minute of my life full of this light sadness of mine. Well, I have been feeling complete and existing in my own imaginary world of Poe, ghosts and elves and things over the recent weeks and stated to get over things I'd thought I'd never will, but I don't think I will ever lose these depressive moments and emotional thoughts of mine, I can't escape them, I think they are deep inside of me and are under no control from he side of my mind.

Just had a chocolate heart and want to run around and draw on walls.

My Poe cabinet project is slow in making, but is worth the time spent so far and occupies the whole of my mind, soul and heart. I don't even have any other thoughts about anything else. Except for the Lord of the Rings. Had a break from the gloomy ghosts just before falling asleep and watched the Fellowship. Its fantastic greatness inspires me greatly and gave me around 800 of different ideas and unrelated visuals about various things. I'd love to have a wall of LOTR in my bedroom with a projection of the film ceiling height running for an hour every time before I go to sleep.

The Cabinet of Poe = A cabinet of curiosities of the world of Edgar A Poe works.

I'm finally settled with all the visuals and have the final image of the space in my head what is incredibly inspiring and feeeels goood. Need to do a little bit more reading on key visuals and crack on non-stop drawing.
I'm really happy with the topic I chose in the first stage and now and looking through the sketchbooks and workbooks from the previous hand-ins I can see the line of the concepts that goes through all the work I have been doing since last spring. One thing collect many other things and connects them to the next step and so on.
I also had an idea of creating 100 cards with small scale illustrations to put the all together in the mural but let them exist as separate illustration as well. So I have to do 3 a day.
To get on with this mission easier, gunna post updates here. I promise, let all the spirits of spring nights help me in this.

I swear my boobs have grown bigger in size. *-^

and this is so awesome - http://mrdoob.com/projects/harmony/ , an advanced scribbler.

I'm not particularly sure why I'm not in bed right now, it's been nearly my record of gfffffffffffffffffffffff42 hours being absoultely awake, but he air is full of different visual night-time sounds, shades, thoughts, small ideas, projects, invisible paper folds and bound books, micro structures of illustrations and what nots and my mind is just floating in space. This state gives me a perfect idea what the term of reality interfering with your dreams and thoughts and imaginary world means. I am reading this article about water molecules and I do not really understand if I'm reading it or the words are kinda flowing into my eyes and I saw this transparent image  of a pretty bloke in front of my eyes, talking in animation terms, just around 12 frames before this second and I can't understand if I saw it half a second ago or I am imagining=============================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================================== it, or my mind drew that picture of him under all the impressions of today. My forehead is heavy as, ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   it's full of something visually exciting, different, deep in stories, full in narratives, I can see a half transparent chair just in the back of my eyes, a map, Julien Vallee, Luke's stretched ear, Matt's awesome voice, a tree with a moustache, a cup with a drawing of an owl inside, the cup is lightly brown, a polaroid of the sea, my eyes are closing and my neck does not want to keep my head up any more, there are also . s fsdfddddddddddddddd

Germaine Greer.

I found a note about Germaine Greer in my small red sketchbook, the author of "The Female Eunuch" (1970) earlier today.
I think she might be one of those poeple with an atmospheric aura or interesting opinions and ideas.
I would love to read her book "The Beautiful Boy" (2003) - "an art history book about the beauty of teenage boys, which is illustrated with 200 photographs of what The Guardian disparagingly called "succulent teenage male beauty".
I'm sure I can perfectly relate to the contents and concepts, can't wait to come across it on the day I have some time to read a book.

the journalist.

I want the Friday night back, the music, the thoughts, the sounds and lights.
I really want to talk to him again like there is no freaking tomorrow.
Can't remember his name no matter how hard I try. nooooooooooo.

He just mesmerises me with the way he talks and makes comments and his reactions to things are pretty enchanting.

a very beautiful purple dream.

So, I'm not sure if I had ever seen dreams like that, and yesterday it was a whole film, a ghost film, a whole ghost film very visually beautiful and aesthetically pleasant.
Last night I got back home and was feeling incredibly out of space and couldn't draw or work on my dissertation so I looked at some picture books, then watched some short films and then switched off on my bed.
And when I woke up in the middle of the night, I could perfectly remember the dream I'd just seen, and I can still remember it now (I was terribly afraid I wouldn't).
So, there was a castle. I did not see it from the outside but been to many rooms inside and experienced them in detail.
It had that room I used to see a lot in my dreams in May and June last year, a room somewhere in the cellar areas of a dark gloomy building, with silver dust and spiderweb patterns all over the place, dripping water and somebody coming up the stairs just in front of me up in the darkness of the stairs, but I could never see them properly. I can remember it properly even this very evening and although I haven't seen this room for a while, I saw it last night but this time with some more to it, with the whole castle.
(to be honest, when I woke up, I was incredibly overwhelmed by everything I had seen, but I don't think I can remember all the details now)
The rooms and halls and corridors in the castle had a touch of time to them, the interior was very intricate and highly different and weird, it had mirrors, a lot of stairs, beautiful wallpaper, the colour palette mostly silver, blue, dark navy, black, some red, and greyish blue. The creatures I was around but they couldn't see me were some kind of ghosts, I could see though them, but feel them and hear them talking, the weren't walking on the ground, more like floating in a way, and the most impressive thing was they would have some kind of purple mist, a cloud of purple dust around them, this aura of them was more visible and rememberable than their own matter itself. A man had dark curly hair, shoulder length and the lady, can't remember her face properly, the hair had a tint of dark gold and she was wearing glowing early victorian with some Elizabethan jewelry details clothes and had tattoos on her arms.
I can't recall what were their conversations or plans like, the visual part was the strongest.

under the table.

this is one of the entries about the visual memories of the day.
I was trying to make the cables and other things obey to me under my desk, and Maya walked into the room and asked me if I was lost under my table. this made me generate two illustrated images and a little bit of moving image.
gotta work on it, and get back to this.

LED ghost.

Today was Sunday and Sundays are fun. Also there were a couple of wicked moments in my life earlier during the day and late evening.
While on the bus from work I had the whole and complete and looking awesome the idea about the stuff I want to do for my FinalMajorProject. It involves hell of a lot of illustration, some 3d animation and interactivity bits. The only thing I can share in words is that there gunna be an LED ghost. Also some windows, and dragons. *<*

Cardinal Red

Spent 3-books-about-decadence-and-sexual-anarchy time in the hospital today. At least did some reading on ContextualStudies. And gave away a lot of my dear blood again, like twice. It's pretty painful and although they always warm you it is going to be a scratch feeling, it hurts. I like the colour very very much though, when I look at the small tubes filled with my fresh blood, they just glow with this cardinal red shine. Cardinal Red. Very visually pleasant procedure it was.