The way through the cemetery down along the river.

A church with a celtic cross if you look though the window.

Howard Phillips Lovecraft.

Howard Phillips Lovecraft (August 20, 1890 – March 15, 1937) was an American author of horror, fantasy, and science fiction, known then simply as weird fiction. Lovecraft's major inspiration and invention was cosmic horror, the idea that life is incomprehensible to human minds and that the universe is fundamentally alien. Those who genuinely reason, like his protagonists, gamble with sanity. His works were deeply pessimistic and cynical, challenging the values of the Enlightenment, Romanticism, and Christian humanism.

When a few hours ago the pretty odd pluming system outside my bedroom window was about to drive me absolutely mad ( the old good method of torture to freak the crap out of a human mind) and the magical pills (x4 -every 30, 15, 2, 2 minutes) didn’t help and the sounds from the outside of my head started to disperse into lines and and winds-like-materia creating coordinates in dark space of my mind, I decided to draw something and here's the result:

Oh boy, tonight I'm going out with Max P., and not Max Payne (who is sexy too), but a real superhero.

He did archery for 7 years! I was amazed all over from the inside, like my mind was sparkled with some silvery moonbeam dust. It's rare you meet people who have an elfish touch to them and who have done archery in their lives.

After-final-year-show effects.

When I close my eyes I can see some indie fonts being drawn and constructed in the 3d space of my eyelids and illustrations appearing in pieces and lines on the blueish sheets of paper, to be more descriptive, they look like blueprints, authentic blueprints.

Among the other cast-spelling things he's got around him, he knew who Michel Gondry was! V-V
And he seriously gets the wickedness of the LOTR, not like everyone else liking it, but,.. I've kinda just lost my thought. I'm going to sleep since I'm really tired and can't even draw, the point was he's got this touch of elfishness to him.

I’ve just got up ( a little bit late since I went to bed at around 4 last night) and feel this urge to draw everything around in the back of my head and at the ends of my eyelashes. I was just having a glass of water in the kitchen and saw a new flower on the wildrose-bush outside the window and the first thought I had was how would I draw it, which no of the liner to use and how the final black pen lines would look on greyish paper.

An undefinable-overwhelmingmatter .

Work was freaking tiring but good fun as well. the dude with nice hair asked me a lot of questions but it was strange to discover that I hadn’t thought about him for such a long time. my heart feels different and takes a whole left half of my chest from the inside right now. it feels new and so fresh and exciting like the sun-silvered seawater at the beginning of April. when I close my eyes, I see this elves-world-smile. its embroidered in my mind with lights, sounds and scents.

I desperately need to go to sleep since I haven't slept properly for a couple of days and my face hurts [literally], but I just can’t get myself into it. There is this something overwhelming and it does not let me sleep, but I don't think I can define it in words, or any other human method of communication.

Originally this blog was started to show the progress of my personal projects and have taken a look at my recent posts I can see that what I do is fill in the entries with some emotional crap.

Not sure if I can stop it though.

What I know for sure is that I can’t control my mood swings any more and my chest hurt every single day over the recent weeks.

I need to stop being so easily affected by my emotions, thoughts and feelings and concentrate on the work I have to do and what I really enjoy doing.

I feel a lot of heart-exploding inspiration one moment and right the next minute can feel this lack of oxygen in my lungs and this pain in my knees and in the middle of my chest.

I just know that there are so many things I can do, but I won’t be able to ( them all) no matter how hard I try and this depresses me quite a bit what leads to the loss of time instead of progressing or anything.

The moment I find myself content and working on another drawing or animation, something mind-wrecking happens and no matter how many of those calming down pills I swallow, the only thing I keep focusing on is that brain-crash-ing issue.

Had work till half 6 today and finally arrived home at around quarter past 7. So I was having my wicked dinner consisting of a lemon tart with vanilla milkshake and RESTING and watching a little bit of TV when I saw Soph’s car reversing outside. She came over to get me to go to Mayas and since my phone had been dead for ages ( not sure why I wouldn’t charge the goddamn battery), it was a nice surprise. And finally, after 100 years of invitations, I saw Mayas place and her flatmates who happened to be pretty old.

and I'm serious about this, *very often emotions and feelings are not entirely expressed on my face in all their strength, since I’m kinda reserved person when it comes to certain things. my mind is like a notebook and during the moments of new experiences it captures everything in all its bits, pieces and details. and I just have no time to express the emotions in a loud / visible way. Or I just don’t feel like I need to or the moment requires / needs me to.

It’s just like these impressions are too precious to be shown to the audience or put in words.

Mr Moth.

While hovering under my bed today , I found a moth. It had already gone to see its maker, so I obviously couldn’t talk to him and ask, where had he come from and what was he doing down there under my bed by the time he died, so I just put it in my Gustav Klimt metal box, and now its not empty any more.

Ben Hibon.

He is amazing!

Vaughan Oliver's exhibition

was pretty amusing. Took pictures of almost all the interesting people there.
And my eyes got photographed like 4 times! By tony and a nameless man. It was sunny inside and my lashes were glowing in blue. Probably that's why.